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That’s a Wrap

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Hello! It has been a great deal of time since my last blog post. I have been busy being a full time student, and well, I did it! I just wrapped up my last course for my degree in Biblical Studies. The last two years (almost) have greatly enriched my faith and has given me a new way of reading, analyzing, and understanding Scripture. In all actuality, the Scripture has come alive for me, and I cannot wait to share this with you through future posts!

Going back to school was not easy. For one, I had to re-learn how to study, and then I had to learn how to write at a collegiate level (and trust me, I had to do A LOT of writing). Then there was math…need I say more? I knew going into it that I would have to make some sacrifices in my time and outside activities, but I did not fully grasp the sacrifices my family was going to make. My assignments followed me everywhere, even on family vacations. My husband had to deal with my tears of frustration and anxiety of meeting deadlines, which stressed him out too. My children had to sacrifice spending quality time with me. There were days where I would spend 12 hours on school work and occasionally had to miss their extracurricular activities because I had to get an assignment submitted. There were mornings where I woke up at 4 a.m. and would get a jump start on school work to try and carve out time with my family later that day. However, even through all the ups and downs of school, my family stood by my side, encouraged me, and supported me. There were times where I doubted what I was doing and even wanted to quit, but I persevered. There is no question where my strength to finish strong came from, really there is only one place where it could have, and that was from my Lord Jesus Christ.

The well known verse from Philippians 4:13 brought me strength when I was weak.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13, NIV

In this verse, Paul is writing to the Philippians, who despite their own troubles, sacrificed and helped Paul’s ministry. Paul says to them that he has learned to be content in all circumstances (vs. 11), and gave credit to God in giving him the strength to do so. This is applicable to my own experience. Despite my family’s own trials, they supported me in my schooling, and I learned to lean on God’s strength to get me through the tough parts of school and the many sacrifices.

Now, it is over…or is it? I feel like a new journey is beginning to take shape. One where I am on fire to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ and to help reach and minister to women through writing my own devotionals and keeping this blog updated. I cannot wait to see where God takes me next.

I hope you will join me in my next adventure.

Living by grace,

Misty

Upcoming Devotional

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Beginning tomorrow, Wednesday April 7th, will start a 3 day devotional titled, Walking Through the Red Sea. Writing a devotional has been on my heart for sometime, and God’s timing was this week!! Please join me in this 3 day devotional and feel free to comment. We can have some community time in sharing our experiences, questions, or doubts. Also, I would love any suggestions for future devotions. God Bless!!

Living by grace,

Misty

Stepping Out Through Anxiety

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I never knew why I would want to break plans last minute. I could have had these plans for a few days, weeks, or even months. It really didn’t matter. I would come up with a lame excuse or have a legitimate reason and feel relieved that I could cancel. It wasn’t because I was a recluse but it ran deeper than that. I have anxiety. So when I have plans with others, this is what my internal dialogue looks like:

I can’t go because they are prettier and in better shape than me. Everyone will look at me as the fat friend who let herself go.

I can’t go because they have their lives all together and mine has been a hot mess the last few years.

I can’t go because I’m the outsider and they are so much closer to one another.

I can’t go because they probably talk about me when I go to the restroom.

I can’t go because they are judging me, my choices, and they don’t trust me.

These are excuses that go on repeat leading up to the plans. The thing is, I doubt any of them are true, but I work myself up that my heart races, breathing quickens, and my stomach hurts. So..I cancel. I would rather stay home then put myself in that position..position being the made up lies I have been telling myself.

As a result, it actually makes it worse. I then start to think that they won’t want to be my friends because I always cancel or I’m not a good friend. In reality, I want nothing more than to have that connection, but the anxiety paralysis me, and I just can’t go. It is hard for those who don’t have anxiety to fully understand (or they do understand and my mind is trying to convince me they don’t. It’s a vicious cycle!).

This past week I was invited to go to dinner with some friends that I haven’t seen in awhile. I was thrilled that I got an invite because I had missed them. I was fine until the day of and the above dialogue started to torment me. By that afternoon, I was ready to cancel. I had a legitimate reason that I could, but I knew the real reason was because of my anxiety. I had a choice to make. Either I let my anxiety win or step out through my anxiety. I chose to step through.

I was no longer going to give my anxiety the power to prevent me from having connection with others. I desired to feel connected, and friendship provides a beautiful relationship that helps a person thrive.

Living By Grace

Stepping through my anxiety gave me a fun and entertaining night to say the least. Not once did those negative thoughts creep into my mind. I embraced the friendships I had with those ladies and allowed myself to have some fun and reconnect. Reconnect with those I love dearly and with myself. I was no longer going to give my anxiety the power to prevent me from having connection with others. I desired to feel connected, and friendship provides a beautiful relationship that helps a person thrive.

If you have anxiety and yearn to feel connected again, I encourage you to step out through that anxiety and seize the moment. You may not always be able to, but the moments you do will be incredibly worth it!

Misty