Overcoming Disappointment With Those We Love

Have you ever been crushed by a choice or action a loved one made? I have, quite a few times over the years, and it left me feeling like all the air was sucked out of me. I am then left struggling to overcome the disappointment I have in that person. I wrestle with my emotions following the event. My emotions range from shock, anger, denial, to sadness.. And no matter how hard I try to process, forgive, and trust.. I lose the match.

So, I finally decided to listen to the Holy Spirit and dive into God’s word for comfort and guidance. The following verse shows me who God is and the example we should follow:

Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.

Exodus 34:6 (NLT)

Unfailing love. Two times in this passage it states these two words. Synonyms for unfailing include: constant, boundless, endless inexhaustible, steadfast. This is the type of love Yahweh has for us, and this is the type of love we should extend to others.

I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. If I use the definitions of each of these words in a sentence, it would sound something like this: I forgive your immoral behavior, your resistance toward my ways, and your actions against me. That’s alot of forgiveness and the Lord gives it over and over. This is the example we should live by in helping to overcome disappointment with those we love.

Oh friends, if only this were easy. This scripture wasn’t enough to help reign in my feelings about this wrong, but instead of giving up, I kept digging.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

James 1:19 (NLT)

How I want to yell and voice my anger when I am disappointed!! The last thing I want to hear is what that person has to say, and all I want is to speak my mind! But that is not what we are instructed to do. The verse pretty much speaks for itself and really our job is to be obedient to His word and apply this command in our lives.

At this point, in my digging, I started to relax and found myself being more open to receiving God’s lesson. The Holy Spirit was quietly saying these words and reminding me that if God loves me no matter what I do, then I should love others no matter what they do.

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 10:12 (NIV)

Love covers all wrongs. So even though I am crushed in my spirit, even though I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around the choice they made, I am called to cover their wrong in love. This is called unconditional love.

(Love) is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged…Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13: 5,7 (NLT)

Forgive and wipe the slate clean. Put down the pencil and paper in your mind and don’t keep record of what was done. Replace love with your name and then ask yourself if that is what you are practicing. I’ll go first..

Misty is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. Misty never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

So to wrap this blog up, how do I overcome disappointment with those I love?

  1. I remember who God is
  2. I actively listen to the other person, take my time to respond, and do not allow my anger to dictate my response.
  3. I show and give unconditional love to the person who has made a bad choice.
  4. I forgive, learn to trust, and wipe the slate clean.

Living by grace,

Misty