Setting a Foundation In Our Marriage

I feel lighter. My burdens don’t feel as heavy anymore. I have a new pep in my step.

I have prayed so much for a change in my marriage. I have asked God to help us make Him the foundation for our marriage and family. I prayerfully asked the Holy Spirit to reveal my faults and what I need to do to change and become a better wife. I prayed for my husband that same prayer…

..and it is working!

Our attitudes and how we handle struggles are changing. We are learning to think before we speak (still a work in progress!) and slow to become angry.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

James 1:19

We have begun doing Bible Studies together, even though making time in-between ball practices can be trying, it is vital in order to put Jesus first in our marriage. The best choice we have made in helping our marriage grow in faith is attending church again. We think we may have found a church home where we feel like God is speaking directly to us. It happens to be the church I grew up in and was baptized. I feel like I’ve come home. It is important to have a church family and worship the Lord with other believers.

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

*** I wrote the above a few days ago. Since that time, my husband and I had an argument. I am telling you this to show you that the road isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Marriage is difficult and sometimes we fail when we allow our own selfishness to supersede the fruits of the Spirit. Self-control is difficult sometimes when you are in the throws of an argument. Ephesians 4:31-32 perfectly states how we should not only treat one another, but especially our spouse.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Although we fought, we did come together and talk it out. Those conversations can be difficult. We have to actively listen to one another and extend forgiveness. Sometimes we even need to admit when we are wrong, and that is what we did.

I pray this post encourages you in your marriage. Remember we are not perfect and will make mistakes. It is what we do with those tough lessons that determines what direction our marriage will go.

Living by Grace,

Misty

Living In The Now

Have you ever thought about your past and it not go so well? It may start off as reliving the good memories, but then it shifts and all your mistakes start to seep through? Your filter isn’t working and by the end of it, you have torn yourself apart and the ‘what ifs’ have consumed your thoughts.That is where I was last night. My boys are vacationing with their dad and I was missing them terribly. All I wanted was to talk to them and they had been difficult to reach. I found myself thinking about the past and all the hurt my actions had caused. By the end of it I was convinced that my children didn’t miss me or love me as much as they once did. So, I cried…hard. Of course, none of that was true, but I believed it in that moment.

Once I pulled myself together, I felt the urge to read my Bible. The below verse caught my attention:

Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

Isaiah 43:18-19 Msg

“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history.” I was not living out this scripture. I had just spent the last several minutes beating myself up with lies and going over my history..my past. I most certainly hadn’t forgotten, but the truth is God had. In Isaiah 43:25 scripture says, “I, yes I alone-will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” If God can forgive and forget, then I should do the same.

“Be alert, be present.” The only thing I have is right now in this moment. It doesn’t do any good to live in the past. Living in the past causes blindness. It blinds me from seeing the work God is doing in my life in the present.

I can remove the blinders of my past, and re-focus thru the lenses of God’s future for me.

“I’m about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?” How can I apply this scripture to my life in the present? I can remove the blinders of my past, and re-focus thru the lenses of God’s future for me. I am made a new creation in Christ Jesus. It isn’t about what I have done, it is about what God has done, and what He has done inside of me. 2 Corinthians 5:16-17 says, “..now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone’ a new life burgeons!”

It isn’t about what I have done, it is about what God has done, and what He has done inside of me.

“A new life burgeons!” The definition of burgeons is, ‘begin to grow or increase rapidly, flourish’. Our Heavenly Father wants this for each of us. He doesn’t want us to remain chained by our past, our shortcomings, our sin. He wants us to break free through His forgiveness, so He can bless us and we can flourish right here in the now! I am ready to make this choice, are you ready to decide to not be a prisoner anymore and grasp a fresh start with Jesus?

Living in His grace,

Misty

Overcoming Disappointment With Those We Love

Have you ever been crushed by a choice or action a loved one made? I have, quite a few times over the years, and it left me feeling like all the air was sucked out of me. I am then left struggling to overcome the disappointment I have in that person. I wrestle with my emotions following the event. My emotions range from shock, anger, denial, to sadness.. And no matter how hard I try to process, forgive, and trust.. I lose the match.

So, I finally decided to listen to the Holy Spirit and dive into God’s word for comfort and guidance. The following verse shows me who God is and the example we should follow:

Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.

Exodus 34:6 (NLT)

Unfailing love. Two times in this passage it states these two words. Synonyms for unfailing include: constant, boundless, endless inexhaustible, steadfast. This is the type of love Yahweh has for us, and this is the type of love we should extend to others.

I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. If I use the definitions of each of these words in a sentence, it would sound something like this: I forgive your immoral behavior, your resistance toward my ways, and your actions against me. That’s alot of forgiveness and the Lord gives it over and over. This is the example we should live by in helping to overcome disappointment with those we love.

Oh friends, if only this were easy. This scripture wasn’t enough to help reign in my feelings about this wrong, but instead of giving up, I kept digging.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

James 1:19 (NLT)

How I want to yell and voice my anger when I am disappointed!! The last thing I want to hear is what that person has to say, and all I want is to speak my mind! But that is not what we are instructed to do. The verse pretty much speaks for itself and really our job is to be obedient to His word and apply this command in our lives.

At this point, in my digging, I started to relax and found myself being more open to receiving God’s lesson. The Holy Spirit was quietly saying these words and reminding me that if God loves me no matter what I do, then I should love others no matter what they do.

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 10:12 (NIV)

Love covers all wrongs. So even though I am crushed in my spirit, even though I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around the choice they made, I am called to cover their wrong in love. This is called unconditional love.

(Love) is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged…Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13: 5,7 (NLT)

Forgive and wipe the slate clean. Put down the pencil and paper in your mind and don’t keep record of what was done. Replace love with your name and then ask yourself if that is what you are practicing. I’ll go first..

Misty is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. Misty never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

So to wrap this blog up, how do I overcome disappointment with those I love?

  1. I remember who God is
  2. I actively listen to the other person, take my time to respond, and do not allow my anger to dictate my response.
  3. I show and give unconditional love to the person who has made a bad choice.
  4. I forgive, learn to trust, and wipe the slate clean.

Living by grace,

Misty