Tag: #forgiveness

Stepping Forward in My Beliefs in a Post-Christian Culture

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My relationship with Christ has evolved and matured throughout the last few months. I have been digging deeper into His Word. I have begun reading the entire Bible and am seeing a new world open up before me. It has been unexpected.

My perspectives about the society norms has started to shift as things become more accepted and tolerated. I can’t help to refer to God’s Word and then see just how much our world has changed. How far away we have distanced ourselves from the One true God.

My belief in certain circumstances may not be well received by some. Especially within a society that accepts and is more politically correct than ever before. I believe that we are saved by grace but we should also try to follow the Law. Try being the key word. It is impossible to do that because we all fall short of the Glory of God. This is why God sent his only Son, Jesus, to die for us. We could not in our humanness follow these commands. Does that mean we can do whatever we want? Absolutely not. Even though we are saved by grace, doesn’t mean we get a “free pass”.

Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the Law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.

Romans 6: 15-16

Jesus commands us to love our God with all our heart, mind, and soul, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. These are the two greatest commandments. He also tells us to not judge others by their outside appearance (John 7:24). Scripture though also tells us something different where some may call it judging others.

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.

Galations 6: 1-2

Hadassah Treu of onthewaybg.com says this, ” Only when our hearts and motives are pure, we can really judge the behavior or motives of other people and really help them.” I referenced John 7:24 in the last paragraph. The ending of that scripture says, “..rather judge according to righteous judgement”.

So what is righteous judgement and its purpose? Hadassah Treu defines it as, “The purpose of righteous judgement is to discern and fulfill the will of God in the given situation”. Hear me out… in order to have righteous judgement, our hearts must be pure, our motives must be to turn that person back to God, and we must judge and hold ourselves accountable. Then we can practice righteous judgement.

We must boldly step forward, in love, and have the difficult conversations. Boldly speaking God’s truth into their life. We do this for that friend who is caught up in adultery, the family member who struggles with addiction, the teenager who is confused about their gender, the husband addicted to pornography, the couple who have chosen same sex marriage. Then we pray. Pray for their hearts to repent and turn back to Jesus.

Now, before you rush to criticize me, let me tell you something some of you may not know about me. I committed adultery. I was living a life of sin that had me spiraling down the rabbit hole. It lead to a Christian friend calling out my sin to me. I did not take it well. In fact, I called her a hypocrite and told her she was being judgmental. If only I knew then what I know now! I then turned away from God for a season. I was angry at the world and was full of pride and selfishness.

Looking back, my friend was reaching out to me in Christian love. She was trying to turn me back to my Lord Jesus, when my heart had hardened towards Him. Hebrews 3:13 says,

You must warn each other everyday, while it is still ‘today’, so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God.

Hebrews 3:13

Our children are being affected by this Post-Christian world. In my line of work, most say they don’t believe in God. The number of same sex couples, non-binary, and gender identity teenagers is shocking to me. Most seem to come from difficult home life’s and are just looking to ,”fit in” some where. Yet, I remain silent. I can lose my job if I say anything. My rights as a Christian and my beliefs have been taken from me. I’m the one who isn’t tolerant and accepting of others. It is hypocritical if you think about it. Where is the tolerance and acceptance for my belief?

The old saying of “love the sinner, but hate the sin, is actually true. I love those who live different lifestyles, I want the best for them, and I believe that no matter what they are still loved by God. Their identity is in Christ. He created them in the womb and it was GOOD. He yearns for them to return to Him. It is simple for all who sin, no matter what that sin is. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, repent (turn away from your sin), and follow Christ and His commands.

In closing, I know my views are not popular and I will be ostracized for them. Yet the Bible, God’s truth, is what I am trying to bring to light. I want everyone to have a relationship with Christ. I am a sinner. I ask for forgiveness all the time and thankful for God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness. He is a good and loving Father, and if you let Him, He will change your life.

A sinner living by grace

Misty

Forgiving Those Who Have Wronged You

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Forgiveness…it can be difficult. I struggle with forgiving others and even myself.

Over the past few years I have grown bitter with a specific individual. The lies, manipulation, isolation, and hostility from this person has me consumed with anger and an unwillingness to extend forgiveness. I feel the need to prove to others the truth and the real and complete story. The reality is that people will believe what they want to believe, even if that means not hearing the other side.

I’m so tired from this bitterness that has rooted itself into my heart, and forgiving this individual is the only way to eliminate this stronghold. Proverbs 19:11 says,

Sensible people control their tempers, they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

I now need to be the bigger person. Being angry doesn’t make me feel any better, and choosing to overlook the wrongs doesn’t mean what they did is ok. Instead, it helps me to heal and move on.

If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you.

Matthew 6:14

Our Heavenly Father shows great mercy in forgiving our sins. In order to be more like Christ, I must show the same mercy and forgive.

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

1 John 1:9

It is time for me to also fully embrace the forgiveness God has given me. I will let go of the guilt and shame and refuse to live under the labels spoken over me. I have confessed my sins and he has trampled them under his feet and thrown them out. (Micah 7:19)

My healing starts today. I am choosing to forgive this person and all their wrong doings. I will forgive over and over. I will extend the mercy and grace that my Father has given me. I also vow to forgive myself. To throw out the bitterness and live out the life God has in store for me.

Living By Grace

Misty

Parenting Through Divorce

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Divorce is hard and messy. A couple that loved each other very much at one time can turn into two ugly monsters that border the line of disdain and even hate. Add children to that recipe and that monster will eventually infect them. It will cause confusion, hurt, anger, depression, doubt, and will shape who they become.

I have experience in both of these areas. I come from a divorced family, and I am currently going through a divorce myself. Our two boys have had to walk through a life that has been turned upside down. It was a struggle at first. Bitterness, resentment, disrespect, rage… it was all consuming early on in my separation, and it greatly affected our children. But, somehow, the tides started to change.

We started putting our own feelings aside and instead put our boys feelings first. We began to co-parent effectively and respectfully. Our boys were able to see that even though their parents were no longer together, they still loved them very much and would do whatever it took to still be a united front for them. Was it easy? Absolutely not. It definitely took some trial and error, grace, and lots of forgiveness. Is it still perfect? No, and it may never be. However, that doesn’t stop us from trying every day to do what is in the best interest of our boys together.

Some of you may have had a similar experience, but I also know some of you have not. So, I want to share some wisdom and advice. I’m not a psychologist by any means, but I am a mom working through navigating my children through this trial and have witnessed the other side of when parents are toxic toward one another. So lets begin..

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a real blessing.

Psalm 127:3 (GNB)

Children are a gift from the Lord. Think back to the day where you first held your child in your arms. The feeling of unconditional love that washed over you, and the vow that you would let nothing ever harm him or her as long as you lived. Do you remember that special day?

Now ask yourself… are you protecting your children from harm if you and your ex are constantly at battle? That may be a difficult truth to swallow. You might be even trying to justify your reasons right now as you read this, but I ask you to really stop and ponder this question.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 12:15 (ESV)

If your goal is to always be right then you will never get anywhere with your communication. You will be too busy planning your next move and not enough time listening. This style of communication is a perfect storm for reasoning and compromise to go straight out the door. My advice is to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry ( James 1:19). Make sure your intention is coming from the right place and not your own selfish ego or your desire to hurt the other person.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (GNB)

Leave the past in the past because it can not be changed. I found that alot of the bitterness and anger I had was from the past hurts from my marriage itself. Words were shared that literally cut to my very core and I was also guilty of it too. My tongue was sharp, and I have significant remorse for it. It is difficult to swallow your pride and to stop pointing fingers. It is difficult to put someone else’s needs before your own especially someone that you haven’t forgiven. Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us that we are to forgive. We are to get rid of all those ugly feelings towards the other person and make the choice to be kind and sensitive to them. We must be willing to forgive and remember that we all have sinned, are far from perfect, and yet, He forgives us.

The above pictures were taken at our son’s birthday. We all were together. We all took pictures together. This is what’s best for children. This is how children continue to thrive.

Stop the hate, stop the battles, stop the revenge. Forgive one another and parent together your precious children.

If we say we love God, but hate others, we are liars. For we cannot love God, whom we have not seen, if we do not love others, whom we have seen.

1 John 4:20

Messy blessings,

Misty