Tag: #life

What I left behind in 2025

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I saw a quote last month that struck a cord with me. It said, “December is the month when you decide what to leave behind going into the new year.” I have never been one to consistently make New Year’s resolutions because I usually fail or give up a couple months into the year. However, I decided to set goals as an individual, as a wife, and as a family. I do not know why, but the word goals seem more attainable than resolutions, at least that is what I am telling myself. A few goals for 2026 are:

  • Read at least six books this year
  • Daily devotions and prayer with my husband
  • Plan a family night once a month

I have several more goals but lets move on from that and get to what was difficult. What did I decide to leave behind? I had to take time to think about this. I wrestled with letting go of past hurts, poor habits, and control. I have spent so many years chained to these things that I allowed them to mold me into someone I no longer recognized. Choosing to leave them in 2025 has created more space to let Jesus into my life.

First, I let go of bitterness towards ended friendships and opened up room for forgiveness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says,

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Second, I left behind poor habits such as, laziness and an unhealthy lifestyle. Both of which go hand in hand. I accepted the fact that laziness is a sin. “Boredom, procrastination and abandoned projects are obvious signs of laziness…Undisciplined sleep habits, and pride that keeps us from considering constructive criticism, can be signs of a lazy life.”1 There are several Scriptures on idleness found throughout the Bible:

Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry. ~Proverbs 19:15

Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks. ~Ecclesiastes 10:18

I love my naps, and to a degree I think naps are healthy, but second sleeps (3+ hours) makes me unproductive and is a reason to avoid responsibilities. I should also reveal my poor eating habits caused by laziness. I love a good meal, especially one that is prepared for me…like at a restaurant or fast food place. While these are fine every once in awhile, making it a routine not only harms my health, but also feeds (no pun intended) into the realization that I am too lazy to cook and I lack self-control. There are two verses that I am choosing to memorize when faced with the temptation of idleness. The first comes from Colossians 3:23,

Whatever you do , work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

Anything I do, whether it is household responsibilities or working outside the home is to be done for the Lord. This changes my mindset and can maybe even create a sense of joy in my work. Next, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20,

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Why am I feeding my body things that are affecting my health? Why am I not strengthening my body and taking care of it when my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? These are revelations I have made when pondering what to not bring into 2026.

Finally, and this is the most difficult, letting go of control. I cannot control people in my life. I cannot force someone to change or make better choices, I can hope to model the behavior, but it is God’s job to change someones heart. I cannot control people’s opinions of me and my choices. Frankly, their personal opinions are none of my business. The only opinion and approval that matters in my life is the Lords.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. ~Galatians 1:10

That is a brief summary of what I refuse to bring into this new year. That was my former way of living, and I want to fill that space with godly living, full of productivity, trust in the Lord, and surrounded by those I love deeply. I will keep moving forward.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. ~Ephesians 4:22-24

Living by grace,

Misty

1Bucher, Meg. Why Laziness Is a Sin and 5 Ways We Can Flee from It. http://www.biblestudytools.com



I Did Not Sign Up for This

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I like a routine. I function at my best when I have a schedule of some sort. My house is more in order, the boys know what is coming next, and on the good days I don’t have to argue with my eight year old that it is shower night.

What I didn’t sign up for was having a schedule that is well..completely blown up. I am trying to navigate through e-learning. I enjoy watching the boys and how they learn and study, but there are some things that leave all of us pulling out our hair! A prime example is 3rd grade math where I find myself saying, “I know what the answer is, but I have no idea how or why you have to find it using that way!” I guess I’m old school.

I have given up trying to stick with a bedtime, and why should it matter anyway? I have no clue what day it is. It feels like a long and never ending weekend. A week(end) where we can’t go and do anything. We are limited to our home or taking a walk. Sounds great and sometimes it works, but have you ever tried getting a teenager to take a walk? I end up wanting to go on my own after that conversation.

It may sound like I am complaining, but stick with me here. There are so many people who are without work right now or laid off (my other half being one of them). There are people who are sick and those who have lost their lives. I hope and pray that healing comes quickly, and one day soon things in our world will get back to normal.

In the mean time, this is what I have learned.. it’s ok to not have a routine. There is freedom in not having control over every detail of your life. I have played more board and card games than I have since I was a child. Watching movies, camp ins in the living room, baking cakes (and eating every slice in 24 hours), video games, wrestling matches, and even science projects. If I had my normal routine, I’m not so sure these things would have happened. It has forced us to slow down and enjoy the simple things in life.

There is freedom in not having control over every detail of your life..

So although I didn’t sign up for this, I am incredibly thankful for the memories and blessings that have come from this. After all..

..some of the best memories can come from life’s most difficult challenges.

Messy blessings,

Misty

My Messy Blessed Life

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Life doesn’t always end up like you expect. The choices we make and the consequences that follow can either enhance your life, or they can cause you to take a major step back to work on yourself. The latter is what I have been doing.

I am navigating through a divorce. I’m sure that comes as a shock for some of you that follow my blog. I thought my marriage was restored and I wanted it to be restored. I tried, as did he, but in the end it was too late. I also had fallen in love with someone else, and we have been in a relationship for the past year.

Needless to say, this last year has been incredibly difficult. There is a reason scripture says that God hates divorce. 

I hate divorce, says the Lord, God of Israel. I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife. – Malachi 2:16 (GNB)

Divorce rips apart family, friends, and children. It is ugly and painful. Bitterness, resentment, and anger start to take root in your heart, and if your are not careful, those three things will spread and contaminate all aspects of your life. I have experienced great shame and guilt that I continue to struggle with because of the choices I have made. I am finding that the only way for me to try to forgive myself, is accepting the forgiveness that God has already given me. It is a process.

I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. – Isaiah 43:25 (ESV)

I tried to be as transparent as I could be in my prior posts, and yet I held back the deep and dark secrets of my heart. I cannot fully express how sorry I am, and I humbly ask for your forgiveness. 

I mentioned earlier that I took a major step back and worked on myself. I was diagnosed with a mental illness in April 2019, and since that time, I have been in therapy. Therapy was a long time coming, and I should have taken that step years ago. I am finally able to start working through my childhood, past traumas, and life as it is today. My plan is to share some of my journey with you.

I have revamped this blog, and will share and discuss numerous topics. I originally started to create a new blog entirely. I found myself having a mental block. Something just didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what I was going to do with Living By Grace. Finally, after talking with a dear friend, the answer was obvious.. I couldn’t delete my story.  No matter how things had turned out, or what I should have done or could have done, it was still my story. I wasn’t supposed to start over. I was called to continue sharing the messiness of life and all its blessings.  

..the answer was obvious. I couldn’t delete my story. No matter how things had turned out, or what I should have done or could have done, it was still my story. I wasn’t supposed to start over.

So now here I am, starting over in more ways than one, and excited to share and talk about life. Real life. Real struggles. Real blessings. I hope you will join me!

Messy blessings,

Misty