A New Journey

I am on a new journey in my life. I am now a student…again. It has been twenty-three years since I have been in school, so I have had to re-learn how to study. It has been a challenge, but a rewarding one.

Returning to school has been on my mind for quite some time, years actually. It was probably around 2015 when I started to feel the nudge. What I did not expect was to feel the nudge from the Holy Spirit. I knew it was Him because it was insistent and was stronger when I was in the Word. Honestly, it was kind of annoying because I thought it was crazy and unattainable. I was also afraid to return. I did not want to fail.

I ignored the urge to return to school for years, but I had started to develop a desire to go and had a deep sense of knowing why He wanted me to return. I had went to a few women’s conferences and was feeling convicted that I was meant for more. I developed a sincere desire for women’s ministry. I had been in a study group with some girlfriends and felt the pull to write in a different way. It was in that moment that I had the revelation that I needed to write devotionals for women. I wanted to help women know that they are not alone in their struggles, and despite their past, they are unconditionally loved and treasured by God.

So, seven years later, I finally gave in to the Holy Spirit, who is relentless by the way, and enrolled in school. I was stressed about the process, but I was not fearful any longer. I knew I was doing the right thing, and I knew exactly what I needed to major in. I signed up for an Associates degree in Biblical Studies. I yearned for a deeper and richer understanding of the Word of God. I needed to know more, I was thirsty for more, and I was excited to learn more.

I am asked what I want to do once I finish school. The answer is, I do not know. Well, that is not necessarily true. I know what I want to do, and that is write. I want to use what I have learned to become an author of women’s devotionals and help minister to women. However, ultimately it is up to God. I finally listened to him and look where I am now. He has helped and guided me throughout this whole journey and I know he will continue to do so. It would be foolish of me to stop listening to Him or doubting His incredible work in me now.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; do not try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he is the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (Msg)

Living by grace,


Shame is a deceiver whispering the worst to you when God longs for you to live with the best of him. Shame has no place for the woman of faith, the woman who knows her worth.

Tiffany Bluhm, 21 Days to Thrive by 45

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2 ESV

My Messy Blessed Life


Life doesn’t always end up like you expect. The choices we make and the consequences that follow can either enhance your life, or they can cause you to take a major step back to work on yourself. The latter is what I have been doing.

I am navigating through a divorce. I’m sure that comes as a shock for some of you that follow my blog. I thought my marriage was restored and I wanted it to be restored. I tried, as did he, but in the end it was too late. I also had fallen in love with someone else, and we have been in a relationship for the past year.

Needless to say, this last year has been incredibly difficult. There is a reason scripture says that God hates divorce. 

I hate divorce, says the Lord, God of Israel. I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife. – Malachi 2:16 (GNB)

Divorce rips apart family, friends, and children. It is ugly and painful. Bitterness, resentment, and anger start to take root in your heart, and if your are not careful, those three things will spread and contaminate all aspects of your life. I have experienced great shame and guilt that I continue to struggle with because of the choices I have made. I am finding that the only way for me to try to forgive myself, is accepting the forgiveness that God has already given me. It is a process.

I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. – Isaiah 43:25 (ESV)

I tried to be as transparent as I could be in my prior posts, and yet I held back the deep and dark secrets of my heart. I cannot fully express how sorry I am, and I humbly ask for your forgiveness. 

I mentioned earlier that I took a major step back and worked on myself. I was diagnosed with a mental illness in April 2019, and since that time, I have been in therapy. Therapy was a long time coming, and I should have taken that step years ago. I am finally able to start working through my childhood, past traumas, and life as it is today. My plan is to share some of my journey with you.

I have revamped this blog, and will share and discuss numerous topics. I originally started to create a new blog entirely. I found myself having a mental block. Something just didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what I was going to do with Living By Grace. Finally, after talking with a dear friend, the answer was obvious.. I couldn’t delete my story.  No matter how things had turned out, or what I should have done or could have done, it was still my story. I wasn’t supposed to start over. I was called to continue sharing the messiness of life and all its blessings.  

..the answer was obvious. I couldn’t delete my story. No matter how things had turned out, or what I should have done or could have done, it was still my story. I wasn’t supposed to start over.

So now here I am, starting over in more ways than one, and excited to share and talk about life. Real life. Real struggles. Real blessings. I hope you will join me!

Messy blessings,