My day started off fantastic. This week is our church’s Vacation Bible School. I have been leading the music portion of it and the kids were amazing today! Especially the younger children. I am amazed at how tuned in they are and how joyful they become when they sing songs about Jesus.
I come home to start my grocery list, but first I thought I should check my bank account….$48.oo…that’s it?! I immediately start to panic. “I thought we had at least $200!” “How am I going to feed my family of four for over a week on $48?? I then call my husband and he reminds me of some cash we hadn’t deposited yet; I start a sigh of relief but that is cut off when I realized the water bill is due in a couple days. Oh…and lets not forget that we just had to buy a vehicle because ours went on us and we now have that payment to prepare for…
This has been our life for the last year and a half. We start to get ahead and then life happens. We try to establish a savings and then our a/c goes out…on and on and on. The biggest problem isn’t because we are one income; our problem is our habits…we go off emotions. We see families taking their children on these amazing vacations and we somehow convince ourselves that our children will resent us when they are adults because we didn’t take them on an extravagant vacation. We choose to go out with friends, knowing we don’t really have the money that week, because we are afraid they will stop inviting us. Then, when we hit rock bottom financially, we ask “How did this happen?”
It happens because we allow ourselves to believe that “more stuff” is what will make us happy. It happens when we don’t seek God before making huge financial decisions. It happens when we start believing that what God has blessed us with…isn’t enough.
The truth of the matter is that we have lived like this for a year and a half, and yet, God has provided. That provision has come in many forms: family who had abundance and wanted to share, reimbursement check we weren’t expecting, a commission that was bigger than expected. During these times I need to focus on Jesus. Release my burdens to Him and remember that he can take what little we have and multiply that in a way I can’t even imagine. As I was typing this, I started thinking about when Jesus fed the five thousand. All they had were 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Jesus blessed what they had and they fed 5,000 men, besides women and children, and had leftovers!! (Matthew 14:13-21)
Jesus, I lift up my $48.00. I pray for your blessing over what you have given my family. May I trust in you Lord, that you will provide. In Your name, Amen.