Overcoming Disappointment With Those We Love

Have you ever been crushed by a choice or action a loved one made? I have, quite a few times over the years, and it left me feeling like all the air was sucked out of me. I am then left struggling to overcome the disappointment I have in that person. I wrestle with my emotions following the event. My emotions range from shock, anger, denial, to sadness.. And no matter how hard I try to process, forgive, and trust.. I lose the match.

So, I finally decided to listen to the Holy Spirit and dive into God’s word for comfort and guidance. The following verse shows me who God is and the example we should follow:

Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.

Exodus 34:6 (NLT)

Unfailing love. Two times in this passage it states these two words. Synonyms for unfailing include: constant, boundless, endless inexhaustible, steadfast. This is the type of love Yahweh has for us, and this is the type of love we should extend to others.

I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. If I use the definitions of each of these words in a sentence, it would sound something like this: I forgive your immoral behavior, your resistance toward my ways, and your actions against me. That’s alot of forgiveness and the Lord gives it over and over. This is the example we should live by in helping to overcome disappointment with those we love.

Oh friends, if only this were easy. This scripture wasn’t enough to help reign in my feelings about this wrong, but instead of giving up, I kept digging.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

James 1:19 (NLT)

How I want to yell and voice my anger when I am disappointed!! The last thing I want to hear is what that person has to say, and all I want is to speak my mind! But that is not what we are instructed to do. The verse pretty much speaks for itself and really our job is to be obedient to His word and apply this command in our lives.

At this point, in my digging, I started to relax and found myself being more open to receiving God’s lesson. The Holy Spirit was quietly saying these words and reminding me that if God loves me no matter what I do, then I should love others no matter what they do.

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 10:12 (NIV)

Love covers all wrongs. So even though I am crushed in my spirit, even though I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around the choice they made, I am called to cover their wrong in love. This is called unconditional love.

(Love) is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged…Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13: 5,7 (NLT)

Forgive and wipe the slate clean. Put down the pencil and paper in your mind and don’t keep record of what was done. Replace love with your name and then ask yourself if that is what you are practicing. I’ll go first..

Misty is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. Misty never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

So to wrap this blog up, how do I overcome disappointment with those I love?

  1. I remember who God is
  2. I actively listen to the other person, take my time to respond, and do not allow my anger to dictate my response.
  3. I show and give unconditional love to the person who has made a bad choice.
  4. I forgive, learn to trust, and wipe the slate clean.

Living by grace,

Misty

Chapter 10: All On My Own

I had to make a tough decision. Well, I’m not really sure if it was tough but more along the lines of having to do something I really didn’t want to do. I had to give up my program. It has been tough ever since..

The program was working…I mean it really works! I was feeling my best and losing weight and inches. Now, I am all on my own trying to apply what I have learned and stick with healthy food choices. It has not been easy. My biggest obstacle is making it all about the food. I started eating everything I had went without while on program. I wasn’t doing it to fuel my body, I was doing it because I felt like I had deprived myself. I am still struggling and trying to find the balance.

I have gained five pounds since going off plan, but my clothes are still fitting comfortably. I know now is the time to start trying to re-break my habits. Honestly, eating in a more healthier way was easy. The food is good and my body does feel better. However, a nice slice of pizza is so tempting, and I will admit that I have indulged. Like always, it tastes good during, but I feel terrible physically several hours later.

I know I am not alone in this up and down roller coaster. My main disappointment is going right back to the old habits and believing this time will be different. Yes, I know what the definition of insanity is.. doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. This journey has been hard and frustrating. The pounds are so easy to put on, but take forever to come off. I wish I could be more positive, but right now I just feel defeated.

This wasn’t an easy blog post to make. I had been so positive and determined in previous posts. Hopefully you all can extend me some grace, and hopefully I can dig deep and find my motivation and whys again!!

Living by grace,

Misty

Chapter 9: Not the Update I Expected

Vulnerability and transparency post…

..I have been going off plan.

It’s like I hit my 25 pound goal and thought, ‘Hey, I can do this and have that banana cream twister. It won’t matter that much.’ Wrong people!! Wrong, wrong wrong. Instead, it had me craving more unhealthy foods and I would sneak in a piece of candy here or a few fries there. The consequences? I have gained two pounds, headaches, and fatigue. Two pounds may not seem like a big deal, but let me tell you, those 2 pounds seemed to take forever to come off; and now I have to do it again.

I don’t want to say that I “cheated” on my “diet” because I don’t see this as a diet. I see it as an overall lifestyle change to good health. It is a journey, has now become my mantra. My goal is to hunker down and focus solely on my nutrition. I need to get back into that healthy mindset of fueling my body the correct way and remembering how I feel physically and mentally versus how I feel when I go off plan.

Life on this journey has had its ups and downs, and I have had some positives during this set back. One, I am still in my size 16s, and second, I was able to play some soccer with my youngest. This was one of my biggest motivators to get healthy. My two boys are very active and I wanted to be able to be active with them. It was a great day passing the soccer ball back and forth, and spending some quality time in doing so.

I started writing the above paragraphs a few days ago, and since that time I have had more obstacles on my journey. The major one is having to take a step back from following the program as far as ordering goes, and I am so disappointed. We have had a few things financially come up, one being talk of lay off at my fiancee’s work, that has left me having to cut the budget somewhere. Unfortunately, this was it. I worked so hard over these last three months and I am concerned about maintaining and continue to lose the weight.

My game plan is to still focus on my nutrition. I went to the grocery store today and purchased basically just food for me at a whopping $100 (for me, that is crazy since that is what I usually spend to feed four people a week). I was giving myself a pat on the back for actually purchasing food with good nutrition and then was left slightly discouraged on how to make that grocery bill fit in my budget. Why in the world is good and healthy food so expensive? And we really wonder why obesity is so prominent in the U.S.?? This is probably for another post so I will now step off my soap box…

The fact of the matter is that I’m not going back. I can’t go back. My health is way too important and my children having a healthy mom is way too important to give up now. I have been reading a book titled, “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay” by Sheila Walsh. She had a great quote that says,

The thing that will keep us strong and help us move forward is knowing that Christ is with us and for us, and the hope we have in Him ultimately will not disappoint.

Sheila Walsh

I fully believe that God is a part of putting me on this path, and I remain firm in the belief that it will be through His strength that I will press on into this journey and will come out a healthier and happier woman for it. I simply will not be able to do this without Him. My will power can only go so far, and then I must rely on Him to see me through this adventure.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13

Living by grace,

Misty