Chapter 10: All On My Own

I had to make a tough decision. Well, I’m not really sure if it was tough but more along the lines of having to do something I really didn’t want to do. I had to give up my program. It has been tough ever since..

The program was working…I mean it really works! I was feeling my best and losing weight and inches. Now, I am all on my own trying to apply what I have learned and stick with healthy food choices. It has not been easy. My biggest obstacle is making it all about the food. I started eating everything I had went without while on program. I wasn’t doing it to fuel my body, I was doing it because I felt like I had deprived myself. I am still struggling and trying to find the balance.

I have gained five pounds since going off plan, but my clothes are still fitting comfortably. I know now is the time to start trying to re-break my habits. Honestly, eating in a more healthier way was easy. The food is good and my body does feel better. However, a nice slice of pizza is so tempting, and I will admit that I have indulged. Like always, it tastes good during, but I feel terrible physically several hours later.

I know I am not alone in this up and down roller coaster. My main disappointment is going right back to the old habits and believing this time will be different. Yes, I know what the definition of insanity is.. doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. This journey has been hard and frustrating. The pounds are so easy to put on, but take forever to come off. I wish I could be more positive, but right now I just feel defeated.

This wasn’t an easy blog post to make. I had been so positive and determined in previous posts. Hopefully you all can extend me some grace, and hopefully I can dig deep and find my motivation and whys again!!

Living by grace,

Misty

Chapter 9: Not the Update I Expected

Vulnerability and transparency post…

..I have been going off plan.

It’s like I hit my 25 pound goal and thought, ‘Hey, I can do this and have that banana cream twister. It won’t matter that much.’ Wrong people!! Wrong, wrong wrong. Instead, it had me craving more unhealthy foods and I would sneak in a piece of candy here or a few fries there. The consequences? I have gained two pounds, headaches, and fatigue. Two pounds may not seem like a big deal, but let me tell you, those 2 pounds seemed to take forever to come off; and now I have to do it again.

I don’t want to say that I “cheated” on my “diet” because I don’t see this as a diet. I see it as an overall lifestyle change to good health. It is a journey, has now become my mantra. My goal is to hunker down and focus solely on my nutrition. I need to get back into that healthy mindset of fueling my body the correct way and remembering how I feel physically and mentally versus how I feel when I go off plan.

Life on this journey has had its ups and downs, and I have had some positives during this set back. One, I am still in my size 16s, and second, I was able to play some soccer with my youngest. This was one of my biggest motivators to get healthy. My two boys are very active and I wanted to be able to be active with them. It was a great day passing the soccer ball back and forth, and spending some quality time in doing so.

I started writing the above paragraphs a few days ago, and since that time I have had more obstacles on my journey. The major one is having to take a step back from following the program as far as ordering goes, and I am so disappointed. We have had a few things financially come up, one being talk of lay off at my fiancee’s work, that has left me having to cut the budget somewhere. Unfortunately, this was it. I worked so hard over these last three months and I am concerned about maintaining and continue to lose the weight.

My game plan is to still focus on my nutrition. I went to the grocery store today and purchased basically just food for me at a whopping $100 (for me, that is crazy since that is what I usually spend to feed four people a week). I was giving myself a pat on the back for actually purchasing food with good nutrition and then was left slightly discouraged on how to make that grocery bill fit in my budget. Why in the world is good and healthy food so expensive? And we really wonder why obesity is so prominent in the U.S.?? This is probably for another post so I will now step off my soap box…

The fact of the matter is that I’m not going back. I can’t go back. My health is way too important and my children having a healthy mom is way too important to give up now. I have been reading a book titled, “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay” by Sheila Walsh. She had a great quote that says,

The thing that will keep us strong and help us move forward is knowing that Christ is with us and for us, and the hope we have in Him ultimately will not disappoint.

Sheila Walsh

I fully believe that God is a part of putting me on this path, and I remain firm in the belief that it will be through His strength that I will press on into this journey and will come out a healthier and happier woman for it. I simply will not be able to do this without Him. My will power can only go so far, and then I must rely on Him to see me through this adventure.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13

Living by grace,

Misty

Walking Through the Red Sea: Day 3

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left…During the last watch of the night the Lord looked down from the pillar of fire and cloud at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion. He jammed the wheels of their chariots so that they had difficulty driving…Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Stretch out your hand over the sea so that the waters may flow back over the Egyptians and their chariots and horsemen’…and the Lord swept them into the sea…That day the Lord saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians.

Exodus 14:21-22,24-25,27,30

The Lord saved the Israelites from the Egyptians. He may good on His promise. I have to give credit to the Israelites though. They may have been complaining and grumbling, but they did go. They may have had their doubts, but they walked through the Red Sea. They made the choice to follow God’s orders, so I would like to think deep down, they had some trust.

Isn’t that the same with us? As followers of Christ, we have this deep feeling in our heart that we really can trust God. It is when we allow our humanness to cloud over the gentle prompting of the Holy Spirit, that we succumb to worry, doubt, and complaining.

I encourage you to cast all your grumblings onto God, get rid of those burdens, and then walk away from them. Fully trust that God, who is mighty enough to deliver the Israelites out of the hands of the Egyptians, will also deliver you out of your pain and suffering. Never lose hope because He will part the waves and walk along with you through the Red Sea road.

After Devotional: Click on below link and listen to “Red Sea Road” by Ellie Holcomb (I do not own the rights to this song.)

Living by grace,

Misty

*Please let me know in the comments if you enjoyed this devotional! Any recommendations for future devotions are welcomed! Thank you for joining me.