Chapter 8: Still Winning

April 1, 2021 livingbygracemlLeave a comment

I am now in the tenth week of my weight loss journey. I have lost twenty-five pounds and eighteen inches total so far. I am thrilled and excited each time I step on the scale and see that number going down, but there have been times when the numbers haven’t moved. The biggest thing to do when that has happened is to ask myself, ‘What else has changed?’.

The first thing I have noticed is my energy level. I used to basically be a couch potato. I would do my cleaning (sometimes) and then veg out in front of the T.V. and take a nap. I would then stay up until around two in the morning, wake up at 7 and start the process again. Now, my days look like this:

Wake up at 6:30 a.m.
Take boys to school
Walk, clean and/or run errands, write, Bible study
Pick up boys from school, homework, dinner
In bed at 10:30 p.m.

Notice the differences in the two routines? I may watch about an hour of T.V. a day and maybe nap once a week. I am productive and actually getting out and walking. My energy is up and I feel great!

Next, are my clothes. I have gone from a 2X in tops to a L/XL. My bottoms have gone from a 20/22 to a size 16. I have already had to buy some new clothes.

Now onto the inches. My stomach is shrinking and my thunder thighs aren’t so thunder anymore! This is a HUGE win for me guys. I notice in my pictures that my face has slimmed down and isn’t as puffy and swollen too.

Lastly, is how my body is responding to motion and walking for exercise. I used to choose not to be active because I was embarrassed. It would be only a short time into a walk and I would begin to sweat…like really sweat. My hair would be wet and sweat would run down my face, neck, and back. I would become winded easily, and my lower back and feet would begin hurting. My pace was also pretty darn slow. Now I average walking about two miles. I no longer sweat or have backaches or foot pains. I walk at a fast pace and my lungs feel good. I actually have started to love my walks and look forward to them!!

These non-scale victories sometimes are even better than the number I see on the scale.

So what is the take away from this post? The number on the scale is just that, a number. Do not allow that to discourage you and make you doubt the journey you are on. Great things are happening if you just look for them!

Still winning,

Misty

Chapter 7: The First Vacation

March 23, 2021 livingbygracemlLeave a comment

Well.. I started off with the best of intentions. I prepared all my meals before hand, brought all the necessities for success, and then… went off plan.

I will fully admit that I chose to partake in food that was off plan. All of which were desserts. I did eat my four small meals but started to replace one or two with dessert. I did stay on plan with my lean and greens, even when we dined out. So I guess there were some wins and some losses.

I wish I could say that I felt great, but I didn’t. My body paid the price. I am currently bloated, swollen, and have had a dull headache. My body had adjusted to what I had been eating and it does not like what I have consumed. I have been eating low glycemic foods and very few carbs. I’m pretty sure pineapple upside down cake, banana cake, and strawberry milkshakes do not fall into that category.

That is where I am at physically but where am I now mentally?

I’m slightly disappointed in myself, but I’m also ready and excited to get back on track. I’m not being nonchalant about the food choices I made. I definitely could have done better but also could have done much worse. I am human after all. I think if I went completely off plan in every way, then maybe my attitude would be different, but I didn’t.

Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan

My next step is to sit down and think about what I could do differently next time. I can’t count on will power alone to help, I tried that and clearly it didn’t work out well for me. The biggest thing that stands out to me is that I ate based on an immediate want and feeling. Such as, “That looks incredible and I know it tastes delicious! It won’t hurt to just have one slice.” Instead on acting immediately, I need to stop and probably even walk away. Give myself time to challenge and think about what I should do versus what I want to do (which is eat the cake!). I would guess stopping to actually consider the consequences in conjunction with my will power will help me choose the right decision. This is a tool I have been taught but haven’t really put into action…well at least remain consistent in doing. Stop Challenge and Choose. It time for me to get to work, remain consistent, and keep my eye on the goal.This set back will not hold me back.

I have learned from this vacation that this journey isn’t about being perfect. It is about learning, growing, and working to better myself. I know that my life is changing, and I’m confident that my smile says it all.

Messy blessings,

Misty

Stepping Out Through Anxiety

March 21, 2021March 21, 2021 livingbygracemlLeave a comment

I never knew why I would want to break plans last minute. I could have had these plans for a few days, weeks, or even months. It really didn’t matter. I would come up with a lame excuse or have a legitimate reason and feel relieved that I could cancel. It wasn’t because I was a recluse but it ran deeper than that. I have anxiety. So when I have plans with others, this is what my internal dialogue looks like:

I can’t go because they are prettier and in better shape than me. Everyone will look at me as the fat friend who let herself go.

I can’t go because they have their lives all together and mine has been a hot mess the last few years.

I can’t go because I’m the outsider and they are so much closer to one another.

I can’t go because they probably talk about me when I go to the restroom.

I can’t go because they are judging me, my choices, and they don’t trust me.

These are excuses that go on repeat leading up to the plans. The thing is, I doubt any of them are true, but I work myself up that my heart races, breathing quickens, and my stomach hurts. So..I cancel. I would rather stay home then put myself in that position..position being the made up lies I have been telling myself.

As a result, it actually makes it worse. I then start to think that they won’t want to be my friends because I always cancel or I’m not a good friend. In reality, I want nothing more than to have that connection, but the anxiety paralysis me, and I just can’t go. It is hard for those who don’t have anxiety to fully understand (or they do understand and my mind is trying to convince me they don’t. It’s a vicious cycle!).

This past week I was invited to go to dinner with some friends that I haven’t seen in awhile. I was thrilled that I got an invite because I had missed them. I was fine until the day of and the above dialogue started to torment me. By that afternoon, I was ready to cancel. I had a legitimate reason that I could, but I knew the real reason was because of my anxiety. I had a choice to make. Either I let my anxiety win or step out through my anxiety. I chose to step through.

I was no longer going to give my anxiety the power to prevent me from having connection with others. I desired to feel connected, and friendship provides a beautiful relationship that helps a person thrive.
Living By Grace

Stepping through my anxiety gave me a fun and entertaining night to say the least. Not once did those negative thoughts creep into my mind. I embraced the friendships I had with those ladies and allowed myself to have some fun and reconnect. Reconnect with those I love dearly and with myself. I was no longer going to give my anxiety the power to prevent me from having connection with others. I desired to feel connected, and friendship provides a beautiful relationship that helps a person thrive.

If you have anxiety and yearn to feel connected again, I encourage you to step out through that anxiety and seize the moment. You may not always be able to, but the moments you do will be incredibly worth it!

Misty