Chapter 9: Not the Update I Expected

Vulnerability and transparency post…

..I have been going off plan.

It’s like I hit my 25 pound goal and thought, ‘Hey, I can do this and have that banana cream twister. It won’t matter that much.’ Wrong people!! Wrong, wrong wrong. Instead, it had me craving more unhealthy foods and I would sneak in a piece of candy here or a few fries there. The consequences? I have gained two pounds, headaches, and fatigue. Two pounds may not seem like a big deal, but let me tell you, those 2 pounds seemed to take forever to come off; and now I have to do it again.

I don’t want to say that I “cheated” on my “diet” because I don’t see this as a diet. I see it as an overall lifestyle change to good health. It is a journey, has now become my mantra. My goal is to hunker down and focus solely on my nutrition. I need to get back into that healthy mindset of fueling my body the correct way and remembering how I feel physically and mentally versus how I feel when I go off plan.

Life on this journey has had its ups and downs, and I have had some positives during this set back. One, I am still in my size 16s, and second, I was able to play some soccer with my youngest. This was one of my biggest motivators to get healthy. My two boys are very active and I wanted to be able to be active with them. It was a great day passing the soccer ball back and forth, and spending some quality time in doing so.

I started writing the above paragraphs a few days ago, and since that time I have had more obstacles on my journey. The major one is having to take a step back from following the program as far as ordering goes, and I am so disappointed. We have had a few things financially come up, one being talk of lay off at my fiancee’s work, that has left me having to cut the budget somewhere. Unfortunately, this was it. I worked so hard over these last three months and I am concerned about maintaining and continue to lose the weight.

My game plan is to still focus on my nutrition. I went to the grocery store today and purchased basically just food for me at a whopping $100 (for me, that is crazy since that is what I usually spend to feed four people a week). I was giving myself a pat on the back for actually purchasing food with good nutrition and then was left slightly discouraged on how to make that grocery bill fit in my budget. Why in the world is good and healthy food so expensive? And we really wonder why obesity is so prominent in the U.S.?? This is probably for another post so I will now step off my soap box…

The fact of the matter is that I’m not going back. I can’t go back. My health is way too important and my children having a healthy mom is way too important to give up now. I have been reading a book titled, “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay” by Sheila Walsh. She had a great quote that says,

The thing that will keep us strong and help us move forward is knowing that Christ is with us and for us, and the hope we have in Him ultimately will not disappoint.

Sheila Walsh

I fully believe that God is a part of putting me on this path, and I remain firm in the belief that it will be through His strength that I will press on into this journey and will come out a healthier and happier woman for it. I simply will not be able to do this without Him. My will power can only go so far, and then I must rely on Him to see me through this adventure.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13

Living by grace,


Chapter 8: Still Winning

I am now in the tenth week of my weight loss journey. I have lost twenty-five pounds and eighteen inches total so far. I am thrilled and excited each time I step on the scale and see that number going down, but there have been times when the numbers haven’t moved. The biggest thing to do when that has happened is to ask myself, ‘What else has changed?’.

The first thing I have noticed is my energy level. I used to basically be a couch potato. I would do my cleaning (sometimes) and then veg out in front of the T.V. and take a nap. I would then stay up until around two in the morning, wake up at 7 and start the process again. Now, my days look like this:

  1. Wake up at 6:30 a.m.
  2. Take boys to school
  3. Walk, clean and/or run errands, write, Bible study
  4. Pick up boys from school, homework, dinner
  5. In bed at 10:30 p.m.

Notice the differences in the two routines? I may watch about an hour of T.V. a day and maybe nap once a week. I am productive and actually getting out and walking. My energy is up and I feel great!

Size 20 to 16

Next, are my clothes. I have gone from a 2X in tops to a L/XL. My bottoms have gone from a 20/22 to a size 16. I have already had to buy some new clothes.

Left today and Right in September 2020

Now onto the inches. My stomach is shrinking and my thunder thighs aren’t so thunder anymore! This is a HUGE win for me guys. I notice in my pictures that my face has slimmed down and isn’t as puffy and swollen too.

November 2020 and present

Lastly, is how my body is responding to motion and walking for exercise. I used to choose not to be active because I was embarrassed. It would be only a short time into a walk and I would begin to sweat…like really sweat. My hair would be wet and sweat would run down my face, neck, and back. I would become winded easily, and my lower back and feet would begin hurting. My pace was also pretty darn slow. Now I average walking about two miles. I no longer sweat or have backaches or foot pains. I walk at a fast pace and my lungs feel good. I actually have started to love my walks and look forward to them!!

These non-scale victories sometimes are even better than the number I see on the scale.

So what is the take away from this post? The number on the scale is just that, a number. Do not allow that to discourage you and make you doubt the journey you are on. Great things are happening if you just look for them!

Still winning,


Chapter 7: The First Vacation

Well.. I started off with the best of intentions. I prepared all my meals before hand, brought all the necessities for success, and then… went off plan.

I will fully admit that I chose to partake in food that was off plan. All of which were desserts. I did eat my four small meals but started to replace one or two with dessert. I did stay on plan with my lean and greens, even when we dined out. So I guess there were some wins and some losses.

I wish I could say that I felt great, but I didn’t. My body paid the price. I am currently bloated, swollen, and have had a dull headache. My body had adjusted to what I had been eating and it does not like what I have consumed. I have been eating low glycemic foods and very few carbs. I’m pretty sure pineapple upside down cake, banana cake, and strawberry milkshakes do not fall into that category.

That is where I am at physically but where am I now mentally?

I’m slightly disappointed in myself, but I’m also ready and excited to get back on track. I’m not being nonchalant about the food choices I made. I definitely could have done better but also could have done much worse. I am human after all. I think if I went completely off plan in every way, then maybe my attitude would be different, but I didn’t.

Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Michael Jordan

My next step is to sit down and think about what I could do differently next time. I can’t count on will power alone to help, I tried that and clearly it didn’t work out well for me. The biggest thing that stands out to me is that I ate based on an immediate want and feeling. Such as, “That looks incredible and I know it tastes delicious! It won’t hurt to just have one slice.” Instead on acting immediately, I need to stop and probably even walk away. Give myself time to challenge and think about what I should do versus what I want to do (which is eat the cake!). I would guess stopping to actually consider the consequences in conjunction with my will power will help me choose the right decision. This is a tool I have been taught but haven’t really put into action…well at least remain consistent in doing. Stop Challenge and Choose. It time for me to get to work, remain consistent, and keep my eye on the goal.This set back will not hold me back.

I have learned from this vacation that this journey isn’t about being perfect. It is about learning, growing, and working to better myself. I know that my life is changing, and I’m confident that my smile says it all.

Messy blessings,