Vulnerability and transparency post…
..I have been going off plan.
It’s like I hit my 25 pound goal and thought, ‘Hey, I can do this and have that banana cream twister. It won’t matter that much.’ Wrong people!! Wrong, wrong wrong. Instead, it had me craving more unhealthy foods and I would sneak in a piece of candy here or a few fries there. The consequences? I have gained two pounds, headaches, and fatigue. Two pounds may not seem like a big deal, but let me tell you, those 2 pounds seemed to take forever to come off; and now I have to do it again.
I don’t want to say that I “cheated” on my “diet” because I don’t see this as a diet. I see it as an overall lifestyle change to good health. It is a journey, has now become my mantra. My goal is to hunker down and focus solely on my nutrition. I need to get back into that healthy mindset of fueling my body the correct way and remembering how I feel physically and mentally versus how I feel when I go off plan.
Life on this journey has had its ups and downs, and I have had some positives during this set back. One, I am still in my size 16s, and second, I was able to play some soccer with my youngest. This was one of my biggest motivators to get healthy. My two boys are very active and I wanted to be able to be active with them. It was a great day passing the soccer ball back and forth, and spending some quality time in doing so.
I started writing the above paragraphs a few days ago, and since that time I have had more obstacles on my journey. The major one is having to take a step back from following the program as far as ordering goes, and I am so disappointed. We have had a few things financially come up, one being talk of lay off at my fiancee’s work, that has left me having to cut the budget somewhere. Unfortunately, this was it. I worked so hard over these last three months and I am concerned about maintaining and continue to lose the weight.
My game plan is to still focus on my nutrition. I went to the grocery store today and purchased basically just food for me at a whopping $100 (for me, that is crazy since that is what I usually spend to feed four people a week). I was giving myself a pat on the back for actually purchasing food with good nutrition and then was left slightly discouraged on how to make that grocery bill fit in my budget. Why in the world is good and healthy food so expensive? And we really wonder why obesity is so prominent in the U.S.?? This is probably for another post so I will now step off my soap box…
The fact of the matter is that I’m not going back. I can’t go back. My health is way too important and my children having a healthy mom is way too important to give up now. I have been reading a book titled, “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay” by Sheila Walsh. She had a great quote that says,
I fully believe that God is a part of putting me on this path, and I remain firm in the belief that it will be through His strength that I will press on into this journey and will come out a healthier and happier woman for it. I simply will not be able to do this without Him. My will power can only go so far, and then I must rely on Him to see me through this adventure.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13
Living by grace,