Chapter 10: All On My Own

I had to make a tough decision. Well, I’m not really sure if it was tough but more along the lines of having to do something I really didn’t want to do. I had to give up my program. It has been tough ever since..

The program was working…I mean it really works! I was feeling my best and losing weight and inches. Now, I am all on my own trying to apply what I have learned and stick with healthy food choices. It has not been easy. My biggest obstacle is making it all about the food. I started eating everything I had went without while on program. I wasn’t doing it to fuel my body, I was doing it because I felt like I had deprived myself. I am still struggling and trying to find the balance.

I have gained five pounds since going off plan, but my clothes are still fitting comfortably. I know now is the time to start trying to re-break my habits. Honestly, eating in a more healthier way was easy. The food is good and my body does feel better. However, a nice slice of pizza is so tempting, and I will admit that I have indulged. Like always, it tastes good during, but I feel terrible physically several hours later.

I know I am not alone in this up and down roller coaster. My main disappointment is going right back to the old habits and believing this time will be different. Yes, I know what the definition of insanity is.. doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. This journey has been hard and frustrating. The pounds are so easy to put on, but take forever to come off. I wish I could be more positive, but right now I just feel defeated.

This wasn’t an easy blog post to make. I had been so positive and determined in previous posts. Hopefully you all can extend me some grace, and hopefully I can dig deep and find my motivation and whys again!!

Living by grace,


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