Category: Weight Loss

Chapter 7: The First Vacation

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Well.. I started off with the best of intentions. I prepared all my meals before hand, brought all the necessities for success, and then… went off plan.

I will fully admit that I chose to partake in food that was off plan. All of which were desserts. I did eat my four small meals but started to replace one or two with dessert. I did stay on plan with my lean and greens, even when we dined out. So I guess there were some wins and some losses.

I wish I could say that I felt great, but I didn’t. My body paid the price. I am currently bloated, swollen, and have had a dull headache. My body had adjusted to what I had been eating and it does not like what I have consumed. I have been eating low glycemic foods and very few carbs. I’m pretty sure pineapple upside down cake, banana cake, and strawberry milkshakes do not fall into that category.

That is where I am at physically but where am I now mentally?

I’m slightly disappointed in myself, but I’m also ready and excited to get back on track. I’m not being nonchalant about the food choices I made. I definitely could have done better but also could have done much worse. I am human after all. I think if I went completely off plan in every way, then maybe my attitude would be different, but I didn’t.

Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Michael Jordan

My next step is to sit down and think about what I could do differently next time. I can’t count on will power alone to help, I tried that and clearly it didn’t work out well for me. The biggest thing that stands out to me is that I ate based on an immediate want and feeling. Such as, “That looks incredible and I know it tastes delicious! It won’t hurt to just have one slice.” Instead on acting immediately, I need to stop and probably even walk away. Give myself time to challenge and think about what I should do versus what I want to do (which is eat the cake!). I would guess stopping to actually consider the consequences in conjunction with my will power will help me choose the right decision. This is a tool I have been taught but haven’t really put into action…well at least remain consistent in doing. Stop Challenge and Choose. It time for me to get to work, remain consistent, and keep my eye on the goal.This set back will not hold me back.

I have learned from this vacation that this journey isn’t about being perfect. It is about learning, growing, and working to better myself. I know that my life is changing, and I’m confident that my smile says it all.

Messy blessings,

Misty

Chapter 6: The First 20

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This last pound seemed to take forever, but I finally did it and reached a goal. I have lost twenty pounds!

I think it is time to be even more vulnerable now that I am feeling better about myself and this journey. The one thing I have yet to share is what my goal weight is and how much I need to lose. I will be honest and say that I haven’t shared because I wasn’t so sure this program would work. I have tried so many and I was skeptical. I had seen some amazing results from people I know, but my goal number seemed unreachable. So here it is…

My goal weight is 130 pounds. That will get me in the healthy BMI (body mass index) range for my height. The total weight I needed to lose when I started was the same number..130 pounds. So add those two numbers together and you get..260 pounds. Yes, my starting weight was 260 pounds.

Now, the last 2 weeks I have been pretty tough on myself. Like I said earlier, this last pound seemed to have taken forever to drop. I even thought briefly about throwing in the towel. My fiance was my cheerleader during this time. He told me to stop thinking that way and look at what else is happening. My clothes were fitting much looser. I had just bought a size down in jeans and now probably going to have to buy another size down. He thought it would also be a good idea to start walking now that the weather was nicer, and that is exactly what I did.

I didn’t walk much in the past. My lower back and feet would start to hurt shortly into the walk. I would get out of breath and start to sweat. It wasn’t enjoyable for me and I felt like everyone that drove by was looking at the fat girl who was struggling. This time was much different. My energy was incredible, my back and feet never hurt, I wasn’t winded, and by the end of it, I felt amazing. So the next day, I did it again. I took my dog and walked even further. So far, I have walked every (nice) day.

I realized I had a choice when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw the red number 239. I could choose a negative attitude like, “ugh…I still have 120 pounds to go..this is impossible” or “I did it. I reached my 20 pound goal. I only have 120 pounds to go!” I chose the latter of the two. My mentality is changing with this journey. Although I had some difficult days, I didn’t quit. I persevered and kept moving forward. This journey is a complete lifestyle change for me. Not just in the food I eat, but also my mental and emotional health.

I got this. Nothing is going to hold me back!

Messy blessings,

Misty

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – Galatians 6:9

Chapter 5: I Am Okay..But Not Really

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Lets start with a question: How many of you have things going well in your life but still feel empty?

I have many blessings in my life. I’m working hard on my health and losing weight and inches, planning my wedding, my children are healthy and doing well in school, there has been healing in family relationships, and so much more. Here I am though, despite all those blessings, feeling numb on the inside. I am tired and worn down. I am having trouble concentrating and when someone is talking to me, it sounds like the adult in Charlie Brown..just noise. I am distracted by my mind. It is on overdrive and is also affecting my sleep.

This isn’t new to me. I have been living with mental illness for some time, but this depression episode is really getting me low. I am taking a hit to my self-esteem and confidence. I am starting to question my health journey. Questions like, “Why am I not losing as quickly as her?”, “Can I really reach my goal weight?”, “Why am I not good enough and disciplined enough to stay on plan?”, “Don’t I want this?” .

Next is the self-criticism as a mother. My mind is in such a chaotic state, that I am having trouble listening to my children. I am thankful that they both share things with me, but right now I can honestly say that I couldn’t repeat what they have told me. I look them in the eyes, I stop what I’m doing to give them my full attention, and yet I can’t retain what they are saying.

I just want my mind to rest. I need some peace. I need to feel something again.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

Matthew 11:28-30 (Msg)

I just recently started getting some form of exercise in by walking. It helps clear my head and gives me that feel good sensation, but it is short lived. Once I come down from that high, the numbness starts to creep back inside. I came upon the above verse today and was what I call, “God-smacked”. I hadn’t sought out God to be the one to give me rest. I didn’t hand over my burden to Him and allow Him to carry it.

We forget that don’t we? We forget that we have a Heavenly Father who is just waiting for us to come to Him and throw our worries, troubles, depression, and anxiety at His feet. “Come with me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.” How comforting that is to me right now.

Self-doubt can cripple us. It can shut down the momentum in our goals and we begin to believe the lie that our goals are unreachable.

Living by Grace

Self-doubt can cripple us. It can shut down the momentum in our goals and we begin to believe the lie that our goals are unreachable. But God, tells us how to combat this:

  • “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
  • “Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” Philippians 4:6-8
  • “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:22-24

So although it seems dark right now, I know that God will help me fight through the lows, strengthen me to reach my goals, and not allow me to fail.

God is within her, she will not fall.— Psalm 46:5

Misty